Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Post-Op - Day 4

Wow!  What a crazy few days it's been!  I am out of the hospital and here at my Dad's for a few days to recover.  To be honest, I never really thought I'd see these days come.  In the back of my mind there was always doubt that I wouldn't be able to pull this off or get to this point.  WOW.  I keep saying to myself... I'm really here!

I couldn't resist getting a picture of me all gussied up in my gown and hat! I had blue socks too! haha This was just before they gave me the happy meds that made me forget everything.

I got out of surgery and to my room about 1030pm.  Apparently while I was in recovery I was acting like a crazy person! haha I did NOT want my oxygen mask on and I was insisting I take it off or at least hold it an inch from my face.  I get easily claustrophobic and supposedly all that is intensified when under anastesia.  They told me later that I was really "feisty"... I'm sure that's just code for "she's a huge bitch!!!" 

Things on Saturday started pretty slow.  I tried to get up and walk really early on Saturday and didn't make it past my door.  I was in too much pain and was having trouble breathing.  Unfortunately, that continued on most of the morning and into the afternoon.  I had a heavy feeling on my chest that was causing my breathing to be very shallow and my respirations to be high.  My oxygen levels were reading normal, so at first this wasn't a red flag.  It wasn't until I rang for my nurse and I told them I was having trouble breathing that everyone came running and they decided tests were in order.  

The doctors drew blood, gave me a portable chest xray, a CT scan (which sucked ass cause of my claustrophobia), put me on 3 liters of oxygen.  Turns out that my blood was not taking in enough oxygen and instead was taking in all the extra junk (carbon monoxide for one) and that was causing problems.  Even though the tests were showing my oxygen levels to be normal, they really weren't.  After a few hours of extra oxygen, more rest and pain meds, I finally began to feel better.  

By Sunday, I was down to 2 liters and my nurse said by the end of the day I'd be going to 1 liter and then off the oxygen.  And that's exactly how it happened.  Thank goodness! I was also taking less and less pain medications and was able to take a shower!  (I was so stinky by that point and the shower felt so darn good!)

I got released yesterday with lots of meds to take and lots of at-home instructions.  I have a drain coming out of my abdomen which clears all the junk out of my surgery site that I have to empty every day. It's kinda annoying and causes me the most pain during the day.  Thank goodness for the oxycodone!!!! 

For the next two weeks I'll be on a liquid diet to include protein shakes, pudding, yogurt, jello, water, juice, etc etc.  I think the hardest part will to get into a routine of when and what I need to eat.  Every hour I need to  consume 2-4oz of either something high protein or water... I'm such an organized person that I've got charts made and will be planning out my meals for the next two weeks.  I guess not having to think or stress about what I'm going to eat makes everything so much easier! 

Some REALLY GOOD NEWS.... I've already lost 7 lbs!!! According to the scale at home I'm 307lbs!! Now, I know that it probably isn't 100% accurate because it's not the same scale I was weighed on at the doctor, but I'm only going to go by the number on my home scale to keep official track now.  I know I've been losing weight since I've been here at my dad's cause just since yesterday I'm down 3lbs! This surgery is already working!! I can't believe it! 

And some sad news... I had a couple breakdowns since I've been at my Dad's.  Really wishing my mom was here to witness all of this.  I know, I know... she's watching down from heaven, she know's what's happening.... But to be honest, that's not as comforting as actually having her here.  She would have been so damn proud of me that I was just overcome with sadness that she wasn't there to see me succeed.  Because deep down, I wasn't 100% confident that I would succeed with the surgery and actually get through it.  I shared a tear with my Dad and he gave me a much needed hug.  I haven't had a really good, fall deep into someones arms and feel loved and safe since Dave left.  I miss that feeling.... I miss that touch.  I cried even more in my Dad's arms and thanked him for hugging me.  

Well, I'm pretty sure that's enough for today!  Thanks again for following along and for all the kind words on Facebook, Twitter and Here! 

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Twas the Night Before Surgery...

It's finally here... I can't believe that 8 months have flown by since I went to my first pre-op appointment for my weight loss surgery (WLS).  Tomorrow, I head in at noon to undergo Laproscopic Gastric Bypass surgery (RNY for those in the WLS community).  I'm scared, excited, nervous... scared.  I know this will totally change my life for the better and I'm so excited for that.

My mom died four weeks ago yesterday.  She was supposed to be taking me to the hospital tomorrow and helping me get through the day and through recovery.  She was going to be my rock.  My support.   I was counting on her.  And now... I have to muster the energy, the strength to do it alone.  I'll have my dad and my friends... but really, I need my Mom.

So... the last time I was weighed, which was on June 14th,  I was 314lbs.  This is about 10lbs less than I was in February when my "Before" picture was taken (right).

Here's a picture from today:

Man... I can't wait until I'm the same size as my friends!!!! I look like I'm the same size as the two of them put  together!! hahaha

I'm trying to keep realistic expectations for myself about the outcome of the surgery... so my first goal is to make it to less than 200lbs in the first year.  My doctors seem to think that this is definitely an obtainable goal.  Now, on the more short term... my first goal is to successfully learn this liquid diet so that my first few weeks post-op will go smoothly.  During those first two weeks post-op, I am going to set a goal of figuring out daily meals and grocery shopping habits so that the next phase of my new lifestyle will be easier.  

Tonight... well, tonight I need to pack a back and shower and get my mind ready for tomorrow. 

Here's one more pre-op picture.  This was on May 23, 2010.  

I am going to do this.  I will be successful.  And I will become a healthy, skinny Betsy!!!!